Version 2: You Need Me

[cloud]

When I read this, I got that feeling of words mingling together in a sparkling cocktail; flowing and breaking together in a seamless manner. That's really the only reason why I come here, so thanks.

I'm a noob so I don't have much to critique but the last stanza.

But I will not rise, 
I understand your pain, meh... cliche
a child alone in a playground, this could be worded differently
I know your secret. I usually love awkward endings but this line should off itself

Keep it up please