Embarrassment

[rowens]

I sat in with some eightteen year olds; you know, the hot ones. At the college where I've been asking questions. They have a keen library there, and three shelves of D. H. Lawrence books that haven't been checked out since the '60s. You know, because everybody who met the man wrote a book about him, and everyone who read him did too, though nobody takes him seriously. That deal. Yesterday was his birthday. So I raised a stink. The Twin Towers have nothing on D. H. Lawrence. -- But I'm embarrassed because I took a test, and there were these long, good-looking sentences that to me looked like the kind of thing I'd write: so when asked to say if they were correct or not, I said probably not according to you. And it turned out I was wrong. According to the tester, I was wrong about them being wrong according to the tester. So I wondered, if me, being the testee, should just give the right answer, and not worry about being wrong just because I think something is right. Because I've always, through experience, . .

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felt that if I was wrong, I don't want to be right.

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The point is: I've been told I was wrong for so long: when I'm asked to do right I do the opposite of what I think is right, and end up where I started.

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P. S. When I read this post over to myself, I couldn't help hearing it in my mind as a slipshod John Waters voice. / It's the college kids I've been hanging out with.

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I keep reaching for the Richard Burton voice, and keep getting John Waters, or Tom Greene/Green VHS recorded voice from the '90s. 1990s.