09-09-2017, 12:02 AM
I would like to keep it at 4 x lines per verse if possible, simply because Ive not worked with something so structurally set before. I am struggling though with replacement terminology that doesnt lose sight of the image Im trying to create. Ive changed verse x 3 as suggested, still clock focused but with a nod to those that do it better! Thank you for your advice, hope its heading in the write direction.
PS Your comment re my final line made me smile, I hadnt thought of it like that I was thinking of it more in a sense of gifts & parties ..... then again, there are many different types of parties so it could fit!
PS Your comment re my final line made me smile, I hadnt thought of it like that I was thinking of it more in a sense of gifts & parties ..... then again, there are many different types of parties so it could fit!