bleak

[ClaireLou]

Hi, I want to really like this poem as if used correctly rhythmic flow can be a beautiful thing & I can see what you are trying to achieve. However, sometimes it can seem forced as we struggle to find words that work cohesively together .... I say we as I have a a little list of rhymes in my brain that if I'm not careful sneak their way in everywhere!

Overall it just needs expanding upon to create more visualisation & imagery.