08-29-2017, 09:13 PM
More comments. Thank you. This was the first poem I put on the site undefined
Personally, with poetry I simply have a tendency to write the first thing that comes into my head without really focusing on the overall terms, rules & guidelines within the Poetry Community which are all very new to me. What rolls off the tongue goes on the page .... bad habit I know. Maybe I should consider re-reading my work before I share LOL
The stop & start points if I read them out loud myself are as follows but i don't know if that's any improvement or not. I just like the rap like flow as it trickles along:
Tired of getting old,
of being told that age is just in the mind,
defined by a constant need for sleep.
Naps, crying out to be taken,
to reawaken that lust for life,
that get up & go, to show,
that really, maybe, possibly, it is all but a number.
A number to a page we are yet to write,
as we fight to carry on with each new day
and stay away from those who say
that purple is just for the young;
A “Warning” for the youth that
petticoats can walk wings
and not only stalk but soar
The reference to purple is a complimentary nod towards one of my favourite Poems, Warning by Jenny Joseph.
Overall really it was just a lighthearted ditty, a glance at getting older. It could probably be seen as superficial in that way which is fine as there wasn't meant to be any particular depth to it. I don't think poetry always needs depth it just needs to make you think something, even if that something is just that you smile.
Ps Still don't like the title, still having no luck thinking what to call it so for now it remains, nightmare!
---
Tired of getting old
Of being told
That age is just in your mind
Defined
By a constant need for sleep
Naps crying out to be taken
So as to try to reawaken
That lust for life that get up & go
To show
That really maybe possibly it is all but a number
A number to a page that we are yet to write
As we fight
To carry on with each brand new day
And stay away
From those who say that purple is just for the young
Personally, with poetry I simply have a tendency to write the first thing that comes into my head without really focusing on the overall terms, rules & guidelines within the Poetry Community which are all very new to me. What rolls off the tongue goes on the page .... bad habit I know. Maybe I should consider re-reading my work before I share LOL
The stop & start points if I read them out loud myself are as follows but i don't know if that's any improvement or not. I just like the rap like flow as it trickles along:
Tired of getting old,
of being told that age is just in the mind,
defined by a constant need for sleep.
Naps, crying out to be taken,
to reawaken that lust for life,
that get up & go, to show,
that really, maybe, possibly, it is all but a number.
A number to a page we are yet to write,
as we fight to carry on with each new day
and stay away from those who say
that purple is just for the young;
A “Warning” for the youth that
petticoats can walk wings
and not only stalk but soar
The reference to purple is a complimentary nod towards one of my favourite Poems, Warning by Jenny Joseph.
Overall really it was just a lighthearted ditty, a glance at getting older. It could probably be seen as superficial in that way which is fine as there wasn't meant to be any particular depth to it. I don't think poetry always needs depth it just needs to make you think something, even if that something is just that you smile.
Ps Still don't like the title, still having no luck thinking what to call it so for now it remains, nightmare!
---
Tired of getting old
Of being told
That age is just in your mind
Defined
By a constant need for sleep
Naps crying out to be taken
So as to try to reawaken
That lust for life that get up & go
To show
That really maybe possibly it is all but a number
A number to a page that we are yet to write
As we fight
To carry on with each brand new day
And stay away
From those who say that purple is just for the young