Sonnet "Mayapple Flower"

[homer1950]

Beneath the twin umbrella leaves that fold
with gentle curvature like praying hands,
hides a single flower, white and gold,
like shreds of linen in Egyptian sands -
a mystery - the prelude to a treasure.
Approach its beauty like a priest in the night -
a priest who serves the doleful goddess Pleasure -
and kneel to see the blooming gold and white,
a living jewel fed by the ancient root,
and shrouded by the two dark-spreading veils.
In time, the flower will become a fruit.
But it is dark, and you’ll  forget these trails
(although you whisper now that you will not).
The blissful gem will ripen, fall, and rot.

Please note that I am not trying for perfect iambic pentameter here. I'm focusing on five stresses, that's all.

Hello Alatos, 

For me it is not the Sonnet form, rather the substance. Your descriptions are great however you may be being a bit too tidious in geting to your point. You have the leaves as folded hands praying covering the white and gold, then you have the fruit shrouded by veils  covering the gold and white. Both great descriptions yet are they redundant in some ways?