Hi, I hope you don't consider this too forward. I think you have a good poem here but it would be improved by some cuts let me show you some suggestions for your consideration.
Just some thoughts.
Best,
Todd
(08-15-2017, 10:57 AM)nibbed Wrote: 2nd revision w/title change
The Contentment of His Creation
He sends comfort
during lonely tribulation,
distractions:
His powerful billows
gently dab the firmaments,
forming whimsy caricature;
He waves mystery's handiwork,
displays feathers & frond.
His angels stand cornered
offering wind
only at His direction
teasing hints, done
in fragrant wildflower.
He soothes tormented ears
in auditions of sparrow,
cricket & frog;
boasting His pure galleries
in precious, brilliant song.
Just some thoughts.
Best,
Todd
The secret of poetry is cruelty.--Jon Anderson