The Monk

[alonso ramoran]

hello, thanks for the reply. i appreciate you recognising flaws in the format. the 'aching wreath' is meant to express being bounded inside an internal suffering. the wreath being the metaphor for a cage. its probably very vague and suited to be misunderstood. we all know of purgatory in its understanding. dante alludes to this very well. so it was meant to express something like that. and 'hemlock eye', hemlock is a poison so it was meant to allude to how his eye has become poison due to being caught up in the thoughts of a mistress.

i know its very vague, too much subjective vision. tell me what you think after i have explained a few things. its all meant to be in 3rd person, does the language become confusing at the end ?

thanks for the analysis

The metaphors are creative but they are under so many layers of meaning it dilutes the emotional impact on the reader.

The language does become confusing at the end. The first line is awkwardly put and the stanza doesn't conclude in a complete sentence.

Other than that I'm liking your themes. You just gotta rework the poem a bit.