The Contentment of Creation (True Beauty)

[nibbed]

Hello Janine. A few comments for you...

True Beauty - I don't think the title does much for the piece. It could introduce almost anything.

He sends comfort
in lonely tribulation,
creating distraction: I'm having a hard time reconciling comfort and tribulation. They are almost complete opposites - though I realize this was partly intentional, it is jarring nonetheless. (after rereading I think switching L1 and L2 would make it more clear - as is the word "in" has an ambiguous use. yes, thank you. I see where that would really work well and convey what I meant.

His firmaments
daub in powerful billows,
forming softened This may read more smoothly as "soft, whimsical..." - might just be my ear
whimsy caricatures;

His handiwork
displays a mystery
found only in feathers & frond. Assuming the N is talking about a diety of some kind, "only" feels contradictory. Upon reading it just now

                         I don't know why only is in there...must have been a remnant from one of my drafts! Thanks for pointing that out!                Directing windy offerings Apologies, but "windy offerings" immediately made me think of farts. - Aside from that, I enjoyed this strophe the most. hahahaha! I actually wondered that,too, but thought I was being goofy
of cornered angels
teasing in hints
of sweetened honeysuckle
& wild carrots
crocheted in blooms of white,

He soothes
tormented ears
with the auditions may not need "the" here  k
of sparrows,
crickets & frogs;

boasting purest galleries
in precious, brilliant, song. "precious" and "brilliant" seem rather generic adjectives for a last line. If I'm wrong I would still strike the comma after brilliant. Good point. It's hard being descriptive of things concerning my God, I mean, His greatness and all the stuff He is. There's not a word in any dictionary that can quite convey how I feel about Him or His attributes. I think there will be a different language of praise in heaven, unimaginable, better words because great, marvelous, wonderful, just don't seem good enough! He's even more!

Thanks for the read. I enjoyed it even if the comments suggest otherwise. 
Paul

thanks Tiger the lion! Your critique was wonderful
and quite helpful to me! I wish I could critique as
wonderfully and as thoroughly as you!


nibbed