08-10-2017, 11:56 AM
I'd never wondered what 'Heslopian' meant - just accepted it as Jack's user name. Now I find an English magazine, The Heslopian, but no further clues. Except that Heslop is a family name. Of Heslop.
Chicory flowers are blue - do you see blue in a poppy? I'm not sure what the 'jutting branches' refer to. I like the use of Eutopia but the dragonfly resting and darting at the same time doesn't work for me. Do you need 'flitting' and 'darting'? Lots of gerunds in that stanza.
Not sure what 'in Peridot and Spene refer to - the butterfly or the day?
'flouncy wafts' was too much for me.
Chicory flowers are blue - do you see blue in a poppy? I'm not sure what the 'jutting branches' refer to. I like the use of Eutopia but the dragonfly resting and darting at the same time doesn't work for me. Do you need 'flitting' and 'darting'? Lots of gerunds in that stanza.
Not sure what 'in Peridot and Spene refer to - the butterfly or the day?
'flouncy wafts' was too much for me.