08-07-2017, 06:13 PM
The poem has some interesting rhymes, but overall, it feels soulless and too formulaic. I don’t feel the magic of the morning, because the descriptors are too cliche - e.g. magic, exceptional. musical, soul, etc. The same is true for the fear that’s supposed to climb through out, words like - blood, violence, merciless, etc. I also think it could be shortened, which could help make it more precise.
