Untangling - edit

[ellajam]

I love a knot poem. This one brings me along with it,  some notes below.

Untangling


When I was young my father told me how
when working through a snarl of tangled rope
to find an end, then lead it through each knot
until its other end shows all is well. "shows all is well" seems off at this point of the poem and is not a strong break, possibly "reveals its length" or something better that suits the meter.

He didn’t know he talked philosophy comma?
just practical instruction for his son I like philosophy/practical instruction.
and yet as guidance for the life of man " life of man" is bland, maybe a sorted life or well lived life, something along those lines.
it leaves most other systems in the shade. Nice sonics.

But I’m not him, with but one end to hold
in sight, the house of many mansions’  light.
My life’s a tangle but its earthly ends "but" seems wrong, maybe "with", then an adjustment below.
are fixed beyond a mind’s maneuvering. I like that this line is like math in the head, even when one is not talented enough for it it still can be achieved more slowly by the less skilled.

This means according to topology Big meh on this line, it must make sense to you but is a stopper that leads nowhere without an uncomfotable stretch for me.
there are no tangles, knots are never real. Yes to this.
Yet when I pull, the blob of curling snarls curling snarls is fun.
drags on as one, inscrutable and tight. Inscrutable and tight is nice.

My method - which can’t be original - I'm not sure if it matters that it's not original.
is finding loops, those teardrops out of which Love teardrops, visually and emotionally. Which stands out as a weak break in a poem of strong ones.
the tangle’s complex knots are woven hard:I like "woven hard".
choose one loop, if it’s single pull it through. Single is interesting here.

But if it joins an interlocked design -
cross, trefoil, valentine, or swastika -
trace each lobe of its pattern ‘til you find
a simple circuit acting as an end. All good, maybe m-dashes and I think "till" is preferred, you can check.

Pull out this master loop, the figure’s gone;
repeat this cogitation and release.
In time a wending line emerges, straight
and purely obvious, no knots or doubts. I like "purely obvious"; doubt spells it out, I'm not sure you need it but so far I like it anyway.

My father’s mansions being closed to me,
my goal is knowing, found simplicity. Not a fan of "knowing, found".

I hope at least one of my notes helps, thanks for the read.