“The chime”

[Pat Doiron]

Hi, a few comments for you.

“The chime”
 
Twisted forks hanging from a fabrication--I'm not sure from a fabrication brings much to the piece. It feels vague. It may be better ending the line on hanging.
Alongside flattened spoons--like this 
Dangling by threads fed through there souls --there should be their 
They dance when the wind blows--lot of they/their words in this. I'd find a way to kill some of them.
Their collisions creating vibrations with every gust --I'd like more motion in this sequence rather than a description of motion. I do like the collisions creating vibrations with every gust part.
Melody comes to being, an entity unto itself
Patterns, beautifully and harmoniously chaotic
Bring forth joy in balance.

This has elements that I really like. I just feel that it's existing as a description of an event instead of the event itself. I'm not sure if I'm being clear but I hope the comments help.

Best,

Todd

thanks for the input guys, you both make good points, to duke: yeah, there are holes drilled into the silverware, the shape of the finial didn't allow the string to simply be tied on lol.

and to todd:valid points, I'm going to be paying more attention before posting in the future lol. hit the nail on the head there with your last comment... the chime is hanging in my living room, it has never seen the outdoors and has never rung by means of air current lol i forged it many years ago and never got rid of it...