06-30-2017, 01:41 PM
This morphed into a very good piece. It was a bit manic at first until I caught the rhythm. Seemed to mimic the rhythms of Beatnik slam poetry of the 1950's. I was confused by the title though. "The Jade Phoenix" would be an apt title and would give direction to your reader early on and the first reading might not feel as scattered. Again, though, a very strong piece I loved the building angst in the middle section and resolution I felt at the end. You moved me. Thank you.