Your picture
#2
(06-29-2017, 07:59 AM)Achebe Wrote:  There you are standing -- I have a problem with the grammar -- "standing in a hat" doesn't conjure up quite the image for me that I think you're intending Smile
in a hat and raiment
blue as the hills
of Tuscany, -- is she in Tuscany? If so, this should be clearer -- if not, why Tuscan hills at all?
smiling
like you would melt into summer -- love these last lines, they're vibrant and the visual and sonic images all match the blue
as all the bells
ring in harmony.
It could be worse
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Messages In This Thread
Your picture - by Achebe - 06-29-2017, 07:59 AM
RE: Your picture - by Leanne - 06-29-2017, 08:05 AM
RE: Your picture - by Todd - 06-29-2017, 08:05 AM
RE: Your picture - by ellajam - 06-29-2017, 08:07 AM
RE: Your picture - by Wjames - 06-29-2017, 08:19 AM
RE: Your picture - by Lizzie - 06-29-2017, 08:24 AM
RE: Your picture - by ellajam - 06-29-2017, 08:37 AM
RE: Your picture - by Achebe - 06-29-2017, 09:36 AM
RE: Your picture - by nibbed - 06-29-2017, 10:09 AM
RE: Your picture - by Lizzie - 06-29-2017, 10:15 AM
RE: Your picture - by Achebe - 06-29-2017, 10:40 AM
RE: Your picture - by ellajam - 06-29-2017, 11:50 AM
RE: Your picture - by Leanne - 06-29-2017, 12:01 PM
RE: Your picture - by Leanne - 06-29-2017, 12:02 PM
RE: Your picture - by ellajam - 06-29-2017, 12:56 PM



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