06-29-2017, 08:05 AM
(06-29-2017, 07:59 AM)Achebe Wrote: There you are standing -- I have a problem with the grammar -- "standing in a hat" doesn't conjure up quite the image for me that I think you're intending
in a hat and raiment
blue as the hills
of Tuscany, -- is she in Tuscany? If so, this should be clearer -- if not, why Tuscan hills at all?
smiling
like you would melt into summer -- love these last lines, they're vibrant and the visual and sonic images all match the blue
as all the bells
ring in harmony.
It could be worse

