06-27-2017, 02:11 AM
Hi four eyed cat, okay now I am going to be really honest. This poem screams creepazoid. I mean the persona of the four-eyed cat alone is enough to make me take three steps back, off a porch, into some pit that never ends, falling, falling and landing on Dr. Crazies island of bad science experiments where four-eyed cats are stretching on sills. I'm giggling. This piece of work is rich in weirdness and borderline maddening, but then strangely healing? "Always stay true to self" I always say, "remember who you are", should be my new motto (mantras scare me). Thankfully this is in mild critique because if it were in intensive, I may need care. Kudos on the wonder-filled write.
Dear patient, welcome to the asylum of your mind.
Let’s rid you of those boundaries to which you’re confined.
But first, please sit down and let’s discuss your medical record.
Let’s see: Schizophrenic disorders, Anxiety and hemorrhages, ~please tell me this is not Dr. No!
all documented in one-hundred-and-forty-nine pages.
There are so many treatments we haven’t yet explored. ~aint that the truth any sane person would run off screaming like
a mad man
Here it says that you feel like you’re in constant company,
the medical staff did tell me about your constant soliloquy. ~ in my new age, I had to look up soliloquy only to realize I actually
May i ask, do you feel a presence around you, spectating? knew the word, just forgot, I guess I had ignored it too long, hadn't
And regarding those voices you hear; do they advise or are they debating? used it enough, shoved it in a corner, thank you, fits nicely here
When was it that you turned your monologue into dialogue?
Is it to your sister, or your parents to who you constantly talk?
Son, why won’t you leave the dead behind? ~revealing
Within the asylum of your mind?
Thanks four-eyed cat. the poem really reveals what happens to our minds sometimes when someone we love departs. I always wondered why the Scripture says "sting of death, where is thy victory?", I mean I know it means the Resurrection and that will be a beautiful day, but there really IS a sting and it's like sometimes you can't get the stinger out. Best wishes and congrats on a wonderful rollercoaster poem, made me laugh, cry.
janine
Dear patient, welcome to the asylum of your mind.
Let’s rid you of those boundaries to which you’re confined.
But first, please sit down and let’s discuss your medical record.
Let’s see: Schizophrenic disorders, Anxiety and hemorrhages, ~please tell me this is not Dr. No!
all documented in one-hundred-and-forty-nine pages.
There are so many treatments we haven’t yet explored. ~aint that the truth any sane person would run off screaming like
a mad man
Here it says that you feel like you’re in constant company,
the medical staff did tell me about your constant soliloquy. ~ in my new age, I had to look up soliloquy only to realize I actually
May i ask, do you feel a presence around you, spectating? knew the word, just forgot, I guess I had ignored it too long, hadn't
And regarding those voices you hear; do they advise or are they debating? used it enough, shoved it in a corner, thank you, fits nicely here
When was it that you turned your monologue into dialogue?
Is it to your sister, or your parents to who you constantly talk?
Son, why won’t you leave the dead behind? ~revealing
Within the asylum of your mind?
Thanks four-eyed cat. the poem really reveals what happens to our minds sometimes when someone we love departs. I always wondered why the Scripture says "sting of death, where is thy victory?", I mean I know it means the Resurrection and that will be a beautiful day, but there really IS a sting and it's like sometimes you can't get the stinger out. Best wishes and congrats on a wonderful rollercoaster poem, made me laugh, cry.
janine
there's always a better reason to love