06-24-2017, 10:40 PM
Hi Dukealien
very much enjoyed this short, its straight and to the point without being blunt or obvious, at first read i thought,you should own the porn and write in the first person but its softer when you bring in the reader, the last line feel redundant because the reader has already got the point and this only reinforces it. Nice job, Keith
very much enjoyed this short, its straight and to the point without being blunt or obvious, at first read i thought,you should own the porn and write in the first person but its softer when you bring in the reader, the last line feel redundant because the reader has already got the point and this only reinforces it. Nice job, Keith
If your undies fer you've been smoking through em, don't peg em out