06-23-2017, 06:32 PM
Hi there Chorus,
It's nice to see a fellow newbie. This poem is lovely in a sad way. I've added comments below:
It's nice to see a fellow newbie. This poem is lovely in a sad way. I've added comments below:
(06-21-2017, 11:34 PM)Chorus Wrote: Once, I didn't assume this was the title - I like the use of one-word for the line, it creates a wistful tone.
Angels left heaven for a day
And blazed through the skies
Like golden meteors Lovely image, but maybe a little bit clichéd? I only say this because I want to find criticism for my comment, not because it struck me as such right away.
Leaving contrails of stardust Contrails of stardust is a nice, spiky little term.
In their wake
Oh, how I spite those glittering roads
For yanking at my chains
And how I turn green
At the sight of seagulls Great and unexpected, though reading back it makes perfect sense.