At the desk before me

[Flowerchild1093]

Hi again Joe! In this piece, I can see an employee stuck behind a computer screen all day. I get the sense while reading that she is unliked by other employees, and I can feel her disconnection from the outside world trapped at a desk. I'll go into more detail below.

See Tilly? he asks. 
Star Employee. 
See her eyes
roll
like marbles in a vacuum cleaner, 
spinning their way to a one-off payment. 
This verse is dripping with sarcasm. Love it!

Tilly don't remember 
the smell of grass between her toes. 
She spends her lieu in cyberspace, 
occasionally sighted only by the grace of 
tweets and Ebay receipts. 
I love how you've written in a certain dialect, although grammatically incorrect, it sets the tone beautifully. (ie, "Tilly don't remember", "Tilly don't recall")

Tilly don't recall 
the taste of paint along her fingertips, 
nor the sound of sunshine. 
She got no time for the 
touch
of human eyes, 
and certainly no sight for 
human words. 


Tilly works, 
he admits with a satiated smirk. 
She can live her life on flex - 
if circumstance allows, o' course.
I'm taking the commentary as fellow employees who dislike Tilly for the seeming easiness of her job, even though it's not really easy at all to be cut off from the outside world. I personally really enjoy the speaking bits, they work well for me.