At the desk before me

[Tiger the Lion]

Hey Joe. I mostly like this one. A few thoughts below.

See Tilly? (he asks.) - back to this later
Star Employee. 
See her eyes
roll
like marbles in a vacuum cleaner, 
spinning their way to a one-off payment. I'm not sure if I'm getting this clearly. I don't know if it's overwritten or I am overthinking it

Tilly don't remember 
the smell of grass between her toes. 
She spends her lieu in cyberspace, I like the use of lieu here but confess it trips my tongue
occasionally sighted only by the grace of Think you could do some cutting on this line
tweets and Ebay receipts. 

Tilly don't recall 
the taste of paint along her fingertips, 
nor the sound of sunshine. You used a similar device - sound/sunshine in another poem. Be careful not too trade meaning for tricks. I am guilty of it always.
She got no time for the 
touch
of human eyes, 
and certainly no sight for 
human words. 

Tilly works, 
(he admits with a satiated smirk.) This line and the end of the first line in brackets you might do better without. Everything else is a quote and ought to be quoted.  I would strike the commentary and let the quote be the poem. - Avoiding all that messy punctuation.
She can live her life on flex - 
if circumstance allows, o' course.

Enjoyed the read Joe,
Paul