Travels + Sanitiser

[Richard]

Hey Joe,
Welcome to the site   Your poem does have some nice language use in it. However, I do have some suggestions. I'll go into greater detail below:

What a hole. -I find this line too conversational, so I would suggest dropping it from the poem.

You slump against the stall while
mopeds with sweaty pipes for seats flit by. 
Tires squawk to ravish your ears, 
noises twirl to sicken your eyes,
ever-rising through the hot 
gas
of the asphalt. -I know this stanza is describing the setting and also setting the mood to a certain extent. There also isn't much wrong with it. However, I don't find it does much to set up the climax of the poem (the dog being hit by a car). I would also suggest removing this from the poem, and starting it at the next line. I understand if you don't do that though. I know from experience that sometimes it's hard to ax an entire stanza.

A groan of agitation -See, this line grabs my attention and makes a better opening line, in my opinion.
yanks 
you on. Abandoning
the stall's delights, 
tapping your holster stuffed with sanitiser,
you skirt round beggar boys,
insulted. -This is a bit unclear. Who is insulted? The beggar boys or the speaker?

Your thoughts fixate on what it all
ought
to be, -The spacing of this line gives it emphasis, which I think it deserves.
and you welcome the embarrassment, 
tied to your coccyx 
like a sack of spuds. -I am unsure what you mean here. My best guess is travelers' diarrhea. This image could be made clearer.
It won't move in a hurry, 

because you were made by 
better,
by clear complexions 
and the dainty chink of glass. 
This place holds no seat
in your repertoire of Emirates ventures. -This entire stanza sets up the speaker feeling superior to his/her surroundings. I think you did a good job at achieving that purpose.

But then it catches, 
like a toenail in cotton. -These two lines are my favorite part of the whole poem. They actually made me stop and smile. This is just wonderful language use. These lines are effective because they made me (the reader) stop, while describing how the person in the poem stops cold.

A mongrel,
dirty and doe-eyed, 
hobbles 
into the road,
right into the purview of a 
thoughtless, steel fender. -Personally, I would shorten this stanza. I don't think you need to describe the dog or car so much.

The driver screams, 
but no-one looks away, 
and you

watch -I like the spacing here because this word is so vital to the poem.

you watch, -I also like the repetition here for the same reason as above.
and won't avert your eyes
for any other sight
in your 
better, 
cleaner world. -I like this ending. It ties back nicely to other parts of the poem, while also communicating the accident's impact on the traveler in the poem.

Overall, I think you have a nice first draft here, and I look forward to seeing where you take this piece from here.

Keep writing,
Richard