06-17-2017, 04:04 PM
I'm still relatively new to poetry so hopefully this comparison isn't way off, but I struggle with this poem the way I've been struggling to enjoy certain things by Tennyson. The extensive build-up (I do think it was a good idea to expand it) had me expecting a poignant pay off or some kind of twist that would shed a new light on the title, but instead the ending seems to just confirm that the title is what we thought it was.
The way the last line declares itself with such importance you'd think it was some neat paradox or that it added a new layer to everything, but it doesn't seem to. It just sounds cool. I saw themes of mortality, heroism, fighting spirit, fragility of legacy, and etc, but because I knew so little about Donny it came across as a shallow or matter-of-fact exploration of those themes. Sometimes you die and no one remembers you or buries you - that sentiment being the pay off (if I'm right that it is) left me with a "so what?" feeling.
Because of that, I tried to just enjoy the descriptions as I reread the poem. In moments I found them more melodic than creative, but I'm not sure that bothered me; maybe that's just a tradeoff you have to make sometimes? Anyway, what I found creative:
I'll second my love of "her going gone." I always like lines that mix up the parts of speech creatively in that way.
I loved the word bladderwrack because its sound supplied enough of a definition to work without me knowing what it meant. "Fought the wheel" struck me as very fresh too.
"Far down he dived in to the rage, in hopes of calmer sea." I'm not great with the names of poetic devices so I won't try (...paradoxical, maybe?), but I really loved this description of his intentions.
"beyond the shelf of shore" Again, I'm a novice, but I've never personally heard the shore described as a shelf before so I really loved that line too.
Here's the part I'm not sure I should complain about, because I would never even think to if the bigger point of the poem moved me more than it did. The rest of the descriptions obviously sound very good and relate the crash at an exciting pace, but a few of the personifications and phrases struck me as stale. The heartless shore, this way then that, fearsome groan, boiling, spume-frothed, hard and square, plumes of red, bones picked clean, filtered light, sobbing sea (I thought sinful was good), etc.
Again, in context these words function just fine and I'm guessing poets have to compromise and borrow some phrases if they want to complete a poem in a reasonable amount of time, but I just feel like raging seas get personified in the same ways over and over. I only wanted more from the description because, being straightforward in its overall message (if I'm not mistaken), it seemed like the poem was asking me to. And I did really enjoy the action sequence. But all it did was give me a thrill and I feel like it was meant to do more than that.
Donny stopping to pray and screaming his maker's name, two of the more crucial moments, fell flat for me for similar reasons. I don't mind the idea of having him do those things, but they're such stock moments in scenes like this that I feel like they'd need to be accompanied or implied by more solid, original images to really be powerful and fresh.
I thought it was exciting and very well written overall, just not as moving as I think it intended to be.
The way the last line declares itself with such importance you'd think it was some neat paradox or that it added a new layer to everything, but it doesn't seem to. It just sounds cool. I saw themes of mortality, heroism, fighting spirit, fragility of legacy, and etc, but because I knew so little about Donny it came across as a shallow or matter-of-fact exploration of those themes. Sometimes you die and no one remembers you or buries you - that sentiment being the pay off (if I'm right that it is) left me with a "so what?" feeling.
Because of that, I tried to just enjoy the descriptions as I reread the poem. In moments I found them more melodic than creative, but I'm not sure that bothered me; maybe that's just a tradeoff you have to make sometimes? Anyway, what I found creative:
I'll second my love of "her going gone." I always like lines that mix up the parts of speech creatively in that way.
I loved the word bladderwrack because its sound supplied enough of a definition to work without me knowing what it meant. "Fought the wheel" struck me as very fresh too.
"Far down he dived in to the rage, in hopes of calmer sea." I'm not great with the names of poetic devices so I won't try (...paradoxical, maybe?), but I really loved this description of his intentions.
"beyond the shelf of shore" Again, I'm a novice, but I've never personally heard the shore described as a shelf before so I really loved that line too.
Here's the part I'm not sure I should complain about, because I would never even think to if the bigger point of the poem moved me more than it did. The rest of the descriptions obviously sound very good and relate the crash at an exciting pace, but a few of the personifications and phrases struck me as stale. The heartless shore, this way then that, fearsome groan, boiling, spume-frothed, hard and square, plumes of red, bones picked clean, filtered light, sobbing sea (I thought sinful was good), etc.
Again, in context these words function just fine and I'm guessing poets have to compromise and borrow some phrases if they want to complete a poem in a reasonable amount of time, but I just feel like raging seas get personified in the same ways over and over. I only wanted more from the description because, being straightforward in its overall message (if I'm not mistaken), it seemed like the poem was asking me to. And I did really enjoy the action sequence. But all it did was give me a thrill and I feel like it was meant to do more than that.
Donny stopping to pray and screaming his maker's name, two of the more crucial moments, fell flat for me for similar reasons. I don't mind the idea of having him do those things, but they're such stock moments in scenes like this that I feel like they'd need to be accompanied or implied by more solid, original images to really be powerful and fresh.
I thought it was exciting and very well written overall, just not as moving as I think it intended to be.