Edit 1: The Searing Flame

[Achebe]

has a simile (your will was like an inferno) that leads nowhere - because an inferno doesn't "entice" anyone other than a volcanologist. So you began with a simile, but forgot about it and moved on to the next line. Moreover, an inferno doesn't have 'fragrance' and even if it did, the metaphor would become 'fragrance of might'. Might doesn't have fragrance. You can substitute any word or phrase that might vaguely go with 'alluring' - taste, thrill, feeling - and the line would be as meaningless. To defend my choice of words here; While an inferno might not entice others, a will does.  Like an inferno might be spreading from building to building, so will 'his' will from soul to soul. In regards to fragrance, i disagree with you there. The promise of power is the most effective perfume this world has ever known. 

If an inferno does not entice others, then you need to change either the word "entice" or the simile of the inferno. 
What you are actually saying is:
my will is like an inferno that has the fragrance of titanic might
the issue is perhaps clearer when written out that way.

At other places, you have metaphors that are equally poorly phrased, eg:

There arose a scorching cinder within an ancient soul

makes no sense, because a cinder doesn't 'arise' - a cinder is a dying product of combustion.

I think you might be confused with embers. 

'Cinder' stems from the old Germanic for dross, similar to 'sinter' as in iron ore sinter. Dross from the metal smelting process starts out hot, then cools.
In modern usage, it refers variously to slag, hot ashes, embers, coke, lava that has cooled on the surface but is hot underneath. In all these cases, it is at the end of a particular combustion process. It is similar to ember, but embers have a woody origin.