05-29-2017, 04:29 AM
preach it! I like that i get the point ( some poems just seem like incessant ramblings). I feel that you keep it strong throughout. My main critique is in the logistics. The rhyming was a bit off ( some stanzas all end in the same rhyme and some do not). Its always hard with rhyming poems to get the strong rhyme and line, but sometimes you have to let go of something in order to create something better. Also there were many lines that seemed to have to many and or to few syllables for a smooth flow ( you were jumping between 11 and 12 syllables throughout) but it's not just the amount of syllables, but how they're dispersed.