First Post

[Richard]

Hey eharrison,
Welcome to the site

I agree with a lot of what Brownlie said in his critique. My biggest suggestion would be to think about redoing this poem without any rhyming. There are times in this poem when certain words feel like they are being used just to make a rhyme. As well, if you a determined to continue rhyming, your rhyme scheme needs to be consistent. I'll go into more detail below:

Hey I just mess around with poetry and I've always wondered if it was any good at all so just let me know if this is even passable! Also i don't even know what the form is so don't worry about that.

Belief born of sight at the junction of faith 
A man forever lost, origin without name - What would you name a person's origin? The Big Bang? God? Mom? This is a bit unclear.
The greatest of plights, myself and my wraith 
to search and find the inception of flame -Why is fire so important? How is it linked to humanity's origin? This is one of times where it feels like your rhyming is taking over what you are trying to communicate in this poem.

the colored crescent a mirage of the skyline
a cynical gift camouflaged behind sly time -I really like this line. I like it so much that I suggest writing a whole poem about this image.
the treasure was promised indeed, in troves 
Alas, all he has found are the emperor's clothes 
lord falls low, jewel to thorn
Thin veil of grandeur forever torn 
mighty oak calls the humble leaf kin
See the tired traveler who could never be sin 
Crucify his god and deliver him to Eden

Overall, I think you have some images here that you could use if you choose to workshop this piece. I look forward to seeing what you decide to do with this poem.

Keep writing,
Richard