Cords - Edit 2

[vagabond]

Cords
...
dead or downed by stinging stone
each shot a lifeline severed.    that´s abrupt for a conclusion, almost weighs down the quite universal content of the other lines in my opinion
...

i like how  the metaphors spin on and on

@vagabond - Thanks for the critique.  The pleased notes are appreciated (helps to know edits are working), but on that last, at the risk of defensiveness or committing "mansplaining,"

The theme you have read differs from the project or program I was trying to write.  This does not mean you're wrong, not at all.  Just explaining (under the seal of the Spoiler) that where you're seeing a continuing cycle in both verses, in my mind there's a contrast between the ever-continued cycle of the women's work and the ever-ending cycle of the boys' toys/tools.  As James Branch Cabell was wont to write, "A thing done has an end."  Or, as the astonished boy in "The Valley of Gwangi" says of how American cowboy movie shootouts end, "And the man, he is dead!"

In other words, the first verse is the conventional three Fates (particularly Clotho and Lachesis) but the second implies that men have something to say to Atropos, or at least serve as her mortal shears or agents.

that's why I'm satisfied with a certain abruptness at the end.

Thanks for reading!

looked "mansplaining" up - you gave me a laugh for using it there!

thanks for the explanation, I actually saw the opposition of man and woman in some way, and kind of disagreed,
my (differing) interpretation made me think about the fact that women´s cycles are interrupted (almost) every month as well.
so, my opposition to the last line was out of place in a critique, i see now.