Cords - Edit 2

[vagabond]

Cords

Women spun their distaff tufts
to spindle-whorls cast down
whipped ‘round with song from tuft to thread     a beautiful metaphor for life unfolding     

and thread to string to cord:                   and here, i´m thinking about umbilical cort as well
a woman’s life one skein
from when she learned to spin until
the shroud her daughters wove her.

Men spun plaited slings of cord
stones tucked in simple pockets   there´much in this short line, the possibilities stored, the danger (subjective)  

from which each whipping cast
released a singing bullet shot    it´s nice how singing reappears
for rabbit, wolf or foeman     and i like how you paint competition (well all this in my view as reader)
dead or downed by stinging stone
each shot a lifeline severed.    that´s abrupt for a conclusion, almost weighs down the quite universal content of the other lines in my opinion

Edit 1;

Women spun their distaff tufts
to spindle-whorls cast down
whipped ‘round with song from tuft to thread
and thread to string to cord:
a woman’s life one skein
from when she learned to spin until
the shroud her daughters wove her.

Men spun plaited slings of cord
stones trapped in bulging pockets
from which each whipping cast
released a singing bullet shot
for rabbit, wolf or foeman
dead or downed by stinging stone
each whirling shot an ending.

original version;

Women spun their distaff tufts
to spindle-whorls cast down
whipped ‘round with song from tuft to thread
and thread to string to cord
a woman’s life one skein
from when she learned to spin until
the shroud her daughters wove her.

Men spun plaited slings of cord
stones trapped in bulging pockets
from which each whipping cast
released a whistling bullet shot
for wolf or food or foeman
dead or downed by stinging sling
each whirling shot an ending.

Thinking of the Balearic Islands in ancient times here
though the rabbits are not specifically mentioned

First post-NAPM poem!

i like how  the metaphors spin on and on