05-21-2017, 11:41 AM
my problem with the poem is this, it's too preachy. the last stanza says everything the first one states secondly you equate humanism according to the 1st person is what he says it is. castigation of half of mankind is probably more akin to humanism than the love of god. the next is which mighty god do you speak of. will any mighty god suffice. for all we know he could be allah? odin, sheva. if we write of god [any god] we need to show him through imagery. we need to do so without being preachy.
(05-20-2017, 02:03 AM)nibbed Wrote: Revised
Humanism is
the result of mankind
thinking they are all that all what
when they are just victims no need for when
of a cuppa every bit of nothing i know cuppa is cup of but for me it doesn't work here
that has been fed to them
from the time they were cruelly yanked
from mother's free food. this and the line above work well
No matter what chalice of lies
that has been dished out
we are here for one purpose: these three lines pose to many questions of the reader
to choose or reject
a Mighty God who loves us
Who wants us to choose Him
so one day we can spend
an eternity with Him
in His perfect heaven.