Second Edit: dying thoughts

[vagabond]

dying thoughts

i want to believe
the sunset is always the same collection of colours
and cliches                     clichés
everywhere

but i know this belief is a lie         a belief can, strictly, not be a lie, rather an illusion               


back home               
when i was younger              ... yes, everything was better then and there... doesn´t require two lines (otherwise it makes me wonder too much if that would be true)
sunsets were like red traffic lights
holding back long lines
of drunken people
who even after the light changed       from daylight to sunset or from sunset to night? the metaphor is unclear to me.
were content to wait outside a bar
as part of their search
for cheap love and drinks           here it´s not clear enough to me if the subject desires or despises that search.

years later
far from home
sunsets were like divine permission
to rest:
drinks with the boys
loud music
eventually sleep
then i would report to work
happy                 with the  lines above and below this "happy" feels a questioning, resignated one. if you wanted to give it that much weight by posing it in a single line you succeeded well.
that it paid enough
that i could still go home
to visit

the last sunset i saw          you could make it clearer wether you meant the "latest sunset" or the "last sunset" (the latter in some fatalistic way)
was fiery and cardinal red
promising a warmth
i'll never know

I get the impression that from a detached point  of view the sunset grows more beautiful with each stanza, so why would the subject WANT it to remain the same ? the cliché-sunset from the first stanza doesn´t seem such a desireable thing to me.