Second Edit: dying thoughts

[Richard]

Second Edit:

dying thought

when i lived home
a sunset was a red traffic light
holding back my friends and me
and our nights were cheap drinks
awful pickup lines
the kind of love that feels endless
until it ends

once i went west
a sunset became divine permission
for drinks with the boys
loud music
eventual sleep
then i would report to work
happy
that it paid enough
that i could still go home
to visit

i want to believe
all sunsets offer warmth
yet my last sunset
fiery and cardinal red
was colder than a kiss from loneliness

two days passed before anyone found me
two sunsets
i never saw
but felt
as they cooled my skin and froze my blood



First Edit:

dying thought

back home
a sunset was a red traffic light
holding back my friends and me
and the night felt like it was ours:
cheap drinks
awful pickup lines
the kind of love that seems endless
until it ends

years later
a sunset was like divine permission
to rest:
drinks with the boys
loud music
eventually sleep
then i would report to work
happy
that it paid enough
that i could still go home
to visit

i want to believe
all sunsets offer a warmth
worth embracing
i want to believe
i won't die alone
far from home

but the truth is enough to kill a man


Original:

dying thoughts

i want to believe
the sunset is always the same collection of colours
and cliches
everywhere

but i know this belief is a lie

back home
when i was younger
sunsets were like red traffic lights
holding back long lines
of drunken people
who even after the light changed
were content to wait outside a bar
as part of their search
for cheap love and drinks

years later
far from home
sunsets were like divine permission
to rest:
drinks with the boys
loud music
eventually sleep
then i would report to work
happy
that it paid enough
that i could still go home
to visit

the last sunset i saw
was fiery and cardinal red
promising a warmth
i'll never know