05-18-2017, 09:25 AM
Richard and duke: thanks so much for the feedback 
I agree that I need to find a way to state at the beginning who the words come from and that it's a found poem.
Yes, it's a real nail.
I don't think it's "what the kids are doing these days," she's talking about how she likes to push her body and experience all the sensation she can.
I wish there was more metaphor/simile.
I'll keep looking for more interviews with her, but I'm working with what she's actually said.
Perhaps I'm trying to pack too many ideas into a small space. Hey, it was NaPM, and I had a line requirement!
I just find her ideas really interesting -- I like how she thinks and what she's about, so I wanted to do this as a way of giving her a little (emphasis on little) more exposure.
About the cliche, I'd say yes, except that she's dealing with more danger than most from my perspective. Perhaps I need to preface that statement with something like 'people don't understand why I do such dangerous things.' I guess I'm looking at it from her perspective, and what she presents as her unique challenges. BUT, I don't like a lot of sap in poems or anywhere else, so message received.
I'm interested in the idea of mixing up the stanza order, and I'll think on that.
Anyway, I'll keep scouting for interviews with her, but I'm limited to things that she's actually said. But, if it's not working it's not working. That's the bottom line. So, thanks for letting me know how it hits you or doesn't.
Best,
Lizzie
I agree that I need to find a way to state at the beginning who the words come from and that it's a found poem.
Yes, it's a real nail.
I don't think it's "what the kids are doing these days," she's talking about how she likes to push her body and experience all the sensation she can. I wish there was more metaphor/simile.
I'll keep looking for more interviews with her, but I'm working with what she's actually said. Perhaps I'm trying to pack too many ideas into a small space. Hey, it was NaPM, and I had a line requirement!
I just find her ideas really interesting -- I like how she thinks and what she's about, so I wanted to do this as a way of giving her a little (emphasis on little) more exposure.
About the cliche, I'd say yes, except that she's dealing with more danger than most from my perspective. Perhaps I need to preface that statement with something like 'people don't understand why I do such dangerous things.' I guess I'm looking at it from her perspective, and what she presents as her unique challenges. BUT, I don't like a lot of sap in poems or anywhere else, so message received.
I'm interested in the idea of mixing up the stanza order, and I'll think on that.
Anyway, I'll keep scouting for interviews with her, but I'm limited to things that she's actually said.
But, if it's not working it's not working. That's the bottom line. So, thanks for letting me know how it hits you or doesn't.Best,
Lizzie