First Edit: My Friend Back Home

[Keith]

My Friend Back Home

My friend’s face
is dirty with worryi like the opening but not sure you need to repeat my friend again, still you have my attention.
while he says the word
layoff layoff means leave me alone to me, laid off or layoffs ?
as if it’s inevitable like death. death is a bit bland, this line could work harder.

He says he won’t leave
his home,
and all I can do is nod. I enjoyed this segment itit lets the reader feel that sense of ' I'm sorry I don't know what to say'

His dreams
are trapped
beneath the ground
slowly suffocating,i was enjoying the poem for its grounded truth up to this shift into whimsy. These four lines change the tone too much for me and as a reader they give an image that is hard to realise, mostly because of dreams.
his hope
will become
a widow,
and I,
at a safe distance,
am nothing
but a bystander.i like this end but it doesn't relate to the window you need something more concrete than hopes and dreams.

Overall I enjoyed the poem, that awkwardness between friends when you just don't know what to say. I think it's worth investing time to sharpen up the images by changing the words that don't really give much to the reader like hopes and dreams. Best Keith