division of good and bad

[rayheinrich]

Hi Ray,
thanx for commenting and for that poem by emily dickinson (which is beautiful).
i realized the near-rhymes in my poem are not as bad a thing as the near-rhythm or the near-message.
changed some things and it is still bumpy.
but i won´t apologize anymore

Good, see that you don't. Apology is a sign of weakness, especially in a poet.

And your poem...
You've really improved it. You've eliminated most of the faults I was going to find with it.
I particularly liked the "imported apples" that's now in the ending stanza. It balances the
poem in both content and structure and connects the ending with the beginning creating
a poem without either.

Ray

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