division of good and bad

[rayheinrich]

One-off rhymes:
- imperfect/near/slant rhymes (wing, caring)
- weak/unaccented  (hammer, carpenter)
- semi-rhyme (bend, ending)
- oblique  (green, fiend; one, thumb)
- etc.

One-off rhymes are just as much a tool of poetry as perfect rhymes.
What I like about them is that they tone down the sing-song nature
of the "perfect" ones, a quality that is sometimes at odds with,  distracts from,
the desired effect of the content. Emily Dickinson* was a master of them.

Of course, if you want to employ them in a land where a reader expects perfect ones
and thinks of them as defects, you need to make it known they are intentional by using
enough of them in the poem, maybe make them the majority.

This poem, intentionally or not, does.

And at this point I intended to comment on the ideas expressed in the poem -- some very good ones --
and the slight illogic that needs re-work to make the poem more effective... but I have to take almost
half of my cats (4) to the vet for their regular check-up and must start the herding process.  

*Famous Poem by Emily Dickinson:

Because I could not stop for Death –
He kindly stopped for me –  
The Carriage held but just Ourselves –  
And Immortality.

We slowly drove – He knew no haste
And I had put away
My labor and my leisure too,
For His Civility –

We passed the School, where Children strove
At Recess – in the Ring –  
We passed the Fields of Gazing Grain –  
We passed the Setting Sun –

Or rather – He passed us –
The Dews drew quivering and chill –
For only Gossamer, my Gown –
My Tippet – only Tulle –

We paused before a House that seemed
A Swelling of the Ground –
The Roof was scarcely visible –
The Cornice – in the Ground –

Since then – ‘tis Centuries – and yet
Feels shorter than the Day
I first surmised the Horses’ Heads
Were toward Eternity –

---

no i can´t, inspiration doesn't hit me often. just wanted to say those things and forced it into a poem. i appreciate your comment, thank you

Inspiration isn't just some random element of chance, it's gained through practice.
Wanting to say something and forcing it into a poem is fine with me.

But when doing so you should either:

1. Pretend it was totally intentional and NOT apologize.
(This helps me because I hate taking a poem seriously only to have the author beg off in a comment.)

2. Pretend it was totally intentional and work with the people who took the time to comment to improve it.

(#2 usually produces better long-term results.)

Ray