mother

[vagabond]

i get what/who mother is in the first 2 lines, though the poem doesn't hold me enough to want to carry on. the rhymes need more work, a good rhyme should be subtle. a good rhyme should not be forced -  i know. problem so far i could not come up with better rhymes.

Mother              ( edit)

we measured every element
down to your iron core we scanned
but who you are is long forgotten the [but] makes the line a half foot too long    i think the but is necessary to explain the contradiction that we have scientifically explored earth but at the same time give nature less worth and respect than it demands (in my opinion).   i just realize that is a kind of vague, cheesy thing i wrote. indication to re-think maybe re-write if i can think of something better.    THANK YOU.
secret gardens reaped and rotten.

your name´s denied and undermined. nice [d's] why is the name [what is the name] denied?   if something (in this case nature) has no name (mother earth) then it would somehow indicate loss of respect. so humanity can without second thought go exploiting.  but you´re right, it´s quite unclear.  i ll think about that.

We crafted gods with false commands,      
a warrant to despoil  your  limbs!   what limbs?   if nature is the whole body then natural resources are the limbs.
the answer that we´ll hear is grim: rhymes feels forced as opposed to slant    i wish but i still don´t have a better rhyme

we´re self-aware but cancerous fruit,
sprouts oblivious to our roots, what do these 2 line mean? are our fruits children? we are part of nature ourselves but forgot about it or choose to ignore
we ache because
we share your wounds. no rhymes     it´s the end of the poem, and the basic message. i thought that justifies abandoning the rhymes.