mother

[billy]

i get what/who mother is in the first 2 lines, though the poem doesn't hold me enough to want to carry on. the rhymes need more work, a good rhyme should be subtle.

Mother              ( edit)

we measured every element
down to your iron core we scanned
but who you are is long forgotten the [but] makes the line a half foot too long
secret gardens reaped and rotten.

your name´s denied and undermined. nice [d's] why is the name [what is the name] denied?
We crafted gods with false commands,      
a warrant to despoil  your  limbs!   what limbs?   
the answer that we´ll hear is grim: rhymes feels forced as opposed to slant

we´re self-aware but cancerous fruit,
sprouts oblivious to our roots, what do these 2 line mean? are our fruits children?
we ache because
we share your wounds. no rhymes