05-09-2017, 02:33 PM
Hi all,
Thank you very much for all your commentary. It is very important important to know whether a second pair of eyes can understand what one is writing in a poem. It seems I haven't done the greatest job in doing so.
Most of you seem to (understandably) have trouble with 'impermeable night gowns', and 'friendless monster'.
-the impermeable night gowns is a reference to shop windows- Like a transparent night gown would be, shops, though closed (impermeable), are inaccessible, but enticing at the same time.
-The friendless monster that I am going on a about is the Eiffel Tower. I thought the 'peach' colour I invoked would make that clear. I am specifically talking about the way it turns off at 1:00 am, its final light display being dark but twinkling at the same time. To me it seems like a goodnight to everyone.
In this poem, I am trying to draw the similarities between a leafless, winter tree (skeletal remnants), with a homeless man. They are both deprived of their necessities, which in the trees case is sunlight, and for the homeless man is money. Winter for lots of things is simply deprivation
Thank you very much for all your commentary. It is very important important to know whether a second pair of eyes can understand what one is writing in a poem. It seems I haven't done the greatest job in doing so.
Most of you seem to (understandably) have trouble with 'impermeable night gowns', and 'friendless monster'.
-the impermeable night gowns is a reference to shop windows- Like a transparent night gown would be, shops, though closed (impermeable), are inaccessible, but enticing at the same time.
-The friendless monster that I am going on a about is the Eiffel Tower. I thought the 'peach' colour I invoked would make that clear. I am specifically talking about the way it turns off at 1:00 am, its final light display being dark but twinkling at the same time. To me it seems like a goodnight to everyone.
In this poem, I am trying to draw the similarities between a leafless, winter tree (skeletal remnants), with a homeless man. They are both deprived of their necessities, which in the trees case is sunlight, and for the homeless man is money. Winter for lots of things is simply deprivation