Second Edit: Defeat/Disenfranchised

[nibbed]

Hi Richard. I am sorry every time I try to critique
it goes a bit haywire. It is probably something
I am doing.


Defeat

poetry has lost its right to vote                                                       
or perhaps it never could
and reality is just catching up
like wages for women

the ballot was a blank page
the lines erupting a possible revolution
or the white
was white
nothing else
the whole process an abuse of an authority
that never existed                                                                            
meaning the poet should throw herself
under the king's horse now
so culpability
can be passed like a napkin
someone politely asks
to be put in the trash
while you change the channel
like the post
click on the video
and laugh

you
who think you are as blameless
as you are anonymous



It seems as though
you write to benefit
someone very very worn
a poem that brought tears

I can't for the life of me
find a thing wrong with it,
maybe remove the or
in L2.

Best wishes, the very best

janine