Fourth Edit: The Loneliest Feeling

[nibbed]

Hi Richard, lemme give a swing at it


the loneliest feeling

i feel
like a hungry refugee in a tent

behind my eyes
is a mix
of fear, rage and self-loathing
and when i ask myself why
the only answer is nowhere

my eyes look desperate                                            desperate? shouldn't stare fit in here, because blink starts the next stanza
my future is measured numerically
by those who kiss their wives before bed
those who tell their children
the world is fair
those who refuse                                                       a lot of "those", just sayin'
to look me in my eyes                                               

i blink
and the dream ends
i lie next to my wife
my child safely sleeps in the next room
and my empathy
denied entry based on ethnicity                                  I would carry the last three words to a new L, because I stumbled a bit



Interesting read. Thank you for the opportunity to critique.
Have a wonderful day.