04-29-2017, 11:51 AM
Would it be narcissism to say this is the worst poem is history?
The odds are against such self-indulgent thinking.
How many poems are wastes of breath?
In particular, this poem sux. I get ten points.
I'm already winning.
Start with the number of poems that you have written
that are childish whines in adult language.
Subtract the number of poems that are halfway decent.
Multiply by pie because it's delicious.
Add another ten because that joke is overdone,
like most of your metaphors.
Multiply by nine because they say that one in ten
is probably at least passable, and somehow
that makes sense to me.
Find the square root and you'll have the number
of nothing useful at all.
Don't do math. Math is depressing. Writing is hard enough.
Go forth then and write 90% crap, you beautiful poet you,
who cackles at actuarials like the blissfully insane.
The odds are against such self-indulgent thinking.
How many poems are wastes of breath?
In particular, this poem sux. I get ten points.
I'm already winning.
Start with the number of poems that you have written
that are childish whines in adult language.
Subtract the number of poems that are halfway decent.
Multiply by pie because it's delicious.
Add another ten because that joke is overdone,
like most of your metaphors.
Multiply by nine because they say that one in ten
is probably at least passable, and somehow
that makes sense to me.
Find the square root and you'll have the number
of nothing useful at all.
Don't do math. Math is depressing. Writing is hard enough.
Go forth then and write 90% crap, you beautiful poet you,
who cackles at actuarials like the blissfully insane.

