Falling Toward Grace

[Richard]

Hey Elizazile,
I liked some of the figurative language in this poem. My biggest suggestion would be that I think you could explore some of your ideas and images in greater detail. I'll explain more below:

Growing through loneliness
Just don't let me end up like this 
I figure all I can do
Is wallow over you -You set up a rhyme scheme here that you don't follow for the rest of the poem. I actually don't mind the rhyming here (I actually like rhyming "loneliness" with "this"). However, you need to be consistent if you are going to rhyme.
Til alone gets great -I could be wrong, but is "Til" a word? I would change it to "Until" because "Til" makes the speaker sound very young.
Or normal
Til I've stayed up out of arms
Long enough to stop feeling phantoms -I like this metaphor. I think you should explore it more though.
I think a little pain might be the bridge
From here to heaven 
Or here to standing straight -I like the image in this line. However, I would cut the previous line and start this line with "From" instead of "Or."
And maybe one day
After falling forever with no net
I'll land soft and gentle -I would replace "soft and gentle" with "gently."
In my own life. -I like the image of falling, but again I feel like you could develop it more. Keeping that in mind, how does the image of falling work with the idea of "to stop feeling phantoms"?

Overall, I think there is a lot of promise in this piece. I might even go as far to suggest breaking it into two poems. One could deal with the image of falling as an end to a relationship and another could be about a relationship causing someone to feel phantoms (I really like that metaphor).

Keep writing,
Richard