NaPM April 15, 2017

[Franklin'sMan]

Showing some skills there, FM. Strong, interesting breaks and how is it possible that this line did not read as over-alliterated?

I violently crawl to them, clasp them and
kiss them; I cling to her calves, climb to her knees,

That hard C just pulls the line along in a rush that suits it and with the sonics of the rest of the piece being more subtle it just works. Fun read, something you might want to work on down the road.

Dog-it if I know why. I know that was the most meaning-rich image for me, and I know I strongly tend to alliteration and assonance. So lucky break? Anyway, I'm pleased you liked it. I'll think of work-shopping it next month.