04-11-2017, 05:09 AM
Hi, thanks for reading and thanks for the feedback
I may have over-engineered for your taste, and I think your analysis is deeper than I would have expected, and there's a real value in that for me. Confusion isn't my intention, but it's often the response with the abstract surreal, and perhaps that's not surprising when you look at the poem's structure, but in itself, 'confusion' is an interesting outcome I think. L2 doesn't refer to seagulls but to the beautiful bird corpses he's seen, this against the sudden realisation, that despite being at sea, he's never seen a dead seagull, why the misname then? but on land he sees dead land-based birds, why the discrepancy then? He's constantly confused in his moments of reflection, confused about what is 'settled order', what is 'reality' for him, which is why he renames his Sea the 'Seagull Sea', then his wants take control over the moment, he's loosing/has lost touch with the settled order. The ref to cognac and taste, overall this isn't about biological senses, more about inner relatively unknown inner senses working overtime and confusing things to the point where reality blurs against attempts at disentanglement moving towards a new sense of things which doesn't turn out well.
Again, outcomes can be a problem with this style, so different conclusions about a poem's meanings and intentions can be reached by different people, and I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing, if it's a different picture for anyone reading it, then that's good I think, multiple effects. Interestingly the fuller explanation I gave earlier is a more literal interpretation of the poem, and one that I had when I posted it yesterday, however, as initially drafted, it looked a bit different, I wanted to write about a time-travelling soldier, but I couldn't get it to bond, to stick, so it went in the direction I explained earlier, it's own interesting journey I suppose.
Paul
I may have over-engineered for your taste, and I think your analysis is deeper than I would have expected, and there's a real value in that for me. Confusion isn't my intention, but it's often the response with the abstract surreal, and perhaps that's not surprising when you look at the poem's structure, but in itself, 'confusion' is an interesting outcome I think. L2 doesn't refer to seagulls but to the beautiful bird corpses he's seen, this against the sudden realisation, that despite being at sea, he's never seen a dead seagull, why the misname then? but on land he sees dead land-based birds, why the discrepancy then? He's constantly confused in his moments of reflection, confused about what is 'settled order', what is 'reality' for him, which is why he renames his Sea the 'Seagull Sea', then his wants take control over the moment, he's loosing/has lost touch with the settled order. The ref to cognac and taste, overall this isn't about biological senses, more about inner relatively unknown inner senses working overtime and confusing things to the point where reality blurs against attempts at disentanglement moving towards a new sense of things which doesn't turn out well.
Again, outcomes can be a problem with this style, so different conclusions about a poem's meanings and intentions can be reached by different people, and I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing, if it's a different picture for anyone reading it, then that's good I think, multiple effects. Interestingly the fuller explanation I gave earlier is a more literal interpretation of the poem, and one that I had when I posted it yesterday, however, as initially drafted, it looked a bit different, I wanted to write about a time-travelling soldier, but I couldn't get it to bond, to stick, so it went in the direction I explained earlier, it's own interesting journey I suppose.
Paul
(04-11-2017, 04:11 AM)burrealist Wrote:(04-10-2017, 04:12 AM)Paul Welsh Wrote: The sailing of a bare Seagull SeaBeyond my observations, I feel like you have a deeply interwoven poem broken from the confines of reality. I respect the wording and the imagery. Surrealism and Absurdism have always fascinated me.
on field and path, on road and roof I sense a rhythm. Although, it's the images that I feel are disconnected. Fields, paths, and roads are all grounded, and roofs are erected into the air. I think you are identifying areas seagulls like to loiter in, but I am actually failing to see the connection made here. The rest of the poem is very abstract, so... I am not going to suggest anything outside of what you've already written.
heard radio sound effects man giving birds two deaths Is the Seagull Sea hearing these effects?
all my eye-catching gone Go-Birds Between "No seagull feel" and this line, I sense a connection made. In general, just a connection of senses. Seagulls not feeling and you not seeing. Previously, though, something is heard on the radio. Maybe I'm overanalyzing it now. Coming next...
sick smell the sick The hearing and the smelling have been favored over seeing and feeling?
investigate the Burke and Hare rooms
guilt formation in the new times
opened cognac in olden times before all this Heaven You can hear cognac opening and smell it, and once tasted may make you feel sick. Why haven't you explored tasting after exploring the other four senses?
https://paulwelsh27.wordpress.com
Also, any allusions made, I do not understand. Really, I don't know what this is about.