haiku practice

[rayheinrich]

I'm not looking for extensive critiques, but I think I missed a point to haiku. With these few, I'm focused on a linear time frame. Starting from one place and moving through the images to a grander scheme... Have I gotten that right?

Yes, you're getting the general point.  (Though I don't understand
what you mean by "linear time frame" or "moving through to a grander scheme".)

The first one is a wonderful haiku, my favorite as it reminds me of an Issa haiku.  
The second one needs the comparison of the populated mountainside and the city to be made clearer.
The third one works well.
The fourth personifies the sun way too much.

Stupid wind
Slicing my face with snow flakes--
Go away

 Mountainsides
Sweep crackled branches throughout
The city

Raindrops
Paint my feet with mud--
Little buds

The sun
Unforgiving and restless--
Apocalypse


For inspiration, here are some Issa haiku that were translated by Robert Hass:

This first one is my favorite haiku:

The world of dew
is the world of dew.
And yet, and yet ...


The moon tonight-
I even miss
her grumbling


Her row veering off,
the peasant woman plants
toward her crying child.


Fleas in my hut,
it's my fault
you look so skinny.


face of the spring moon-
about twelve years old
I'd say.


From the end of the nose
of the Buddha on the moor
hang icicles.


The holes in the wall
play the flute
this evening.


Don’t worry, spiders,
I keep house
casually.


New Year’s Day—
everything is in blossom!
I feel about average.


The snow is melting
and the village is flooded
with children.


Goes out,
comes back—
the love life of a cat.


Mosquito at my ear—
does he think
I’m deaf?


Even with insects—
some can sing,
some can’t.


All the time I pray to Buddha
I keep on
killing mosquitoes.


Napped half the day;
no one
punished me!