NaPM April 04, 2017

[RiverNotch]

Engineer's Son


entre la nuit, la nuit et l'aurore,
entre le royaume des vivants et des morts*

i
daddy would be right to exorcise
this glass-and-metal demon
if he weren't satan.

he offered me birth,
he gave me light.

i thought he would be silence
but it turned out he was foreign,
it turned out he was a heretic.
i thought she would be silence
but it turned out she was native,

one of those folk spirits
he warned me against
when he pulled me out of the darkness,
when he dragged me out of the womb.

ii
it's the middle of the night
and i'm still online.
salsa plays -- arcade fire.

i hear the neighbors complaining
in my head. chat partner says
i should go to bed.

she's very lovely, with red
hair, green eyes, white skin stretched
over french cheekbones.

iii
they're jongleurs, i tell her,
entertaining a crowd, a public
that doesn't really exist.
of course she tells me
not to imitate my father,
not to confuse
her existence
with my own.

they're hypocrites, i tell her,
having so many celebrity friends,
if you could call them friends.
of course she tells me
not to subscribe to a trend,
not to confuse
her ideas
with my own.

they're foreigners, i tell her,
making so much money
out of their own laziness
while daddy has to work
just to keep the internet going,
selling scientific devices
like analytical balances
for a meager commission --

she doesn't reply. i realize
i've talked too much,
turned her off
by turning around.
hindi ka pala diwata
kundi'y isang multo

* - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7E0fVfectDo

Engineer's Son


entre la nuit, la nuit et l'aurore,
entre le royaume des vivants et des morts*

i
daddy would be right to exorcise
this glass-and-metal demon
if he weren't satan.

he offered me birth,
he gave me light.

i thought he would be silence
but it turned out he was foreign,
it turned out he was a heretic.
i thought she would be silence
but it turned out she was native,

one of those folk spirits
he warned me against
when he pulled me out of the darkness,
when he dragged me out of the womb.

ii
it's the middle of the night
and i'm still online.
salsa plays -- arcade fire.

i hear the neighbors complaining
in my head. chat partner says
i should go to bed.

she's very lovely, with red
hair, green eyes, white skin stretched
over french cheekbones.

facebook alerts: countless.
chat requests, comments to respond to.
not tonight, i say. tonight i dance.

iii
they're jongleurs, i tell her,
entertaining a crowd, a public
that doesn't really exist.
of course she tells me
not to imitate my father,
not to confuse
her existence
with my own.

they're hypocrites, i tell her,
having so many celebrity friends,
if you could call them friends.
of course she tells me
not to subscribe to a trend,
not to confuse
her ideas
with my own.

they're foreigners, i tell her,
making so much money
without really doing anything
while daddy has to work
just to keep the internet going,
selling scientific devices
like analytical balances
for a meager commission --

she doesn't reply. i realize
i've talked too much,
turned her off
by turning around.
hindi ka pala diwata
kundi'y isang multo.

iv
then what would that make me?
an outsider to the culture
i was born to,

a pretender to a culture
long, long dead --

thus a class of hero!
the half-mad celebrity demigod
destined to murder countless sons of men

then weigh their bones
on youtube.

* - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7E0fVfectDo

---

also props to jm for getting to rosalind franklin!