Kiting (edited)

[Lizzie]

Like Deathstar, I find myself wanting a deeper meaning for this one. I see the reference to graves coming back in the final stanza where there's an acknowledgement of the speaker's frailty, and so the mortality theme does give it one meaning beyond the obvious of flying kites. So, I wouldn't recommend dropping the first stanza, I saw that you were going back and forth about that.

Kiting

In Bonnie Brae a field is split by kills
and hedged by thickets on the southern side,
a vagrant patch of long untended graves
and then the woods, too thick to let light pass. -- I like the image in these last two lines. Gives the feeling of foreboding.

On a clear day with wind just true enough
to fill a sail or launch a skiff we gathered -

a score of us to test our skills at flying -- like the line break on flying
kites as if we happened there by chance.
The dance began as I unfurled my partner  -
a hand-painted red komodo dragon
with double wires and a twenty-five foot tail.

I slowly let her up and gave her reign
then deftly pulled her aft to paint the sky
then took two hours teaching her to roll
and slowly build to form a somersault.

Then sometime after noon we traded places -- each time I read this stanza as being about consumption of alcohol or drugs, re-framing the purpose for the group's meeting and for the breaking body at the end. You have the invocation of the line "high as a kite" in the next line, and then 'drunk' in the next. I suppose if I were to really push my interpretation, I could interpret 'line' as being a drug reference as well, although that would be a stretch.
and I was high above and breaching clouds -
a just-fledged falcon drunk on swoops and dives,
I spun and dipped held only by my line.

But fickle kites don’t have the nerve for kiting
as men don’t have the buoyancy to fly
so who’s to say whose fault, the bridle buckled,
the guy wire snapped, I keeled and then I tumbled
back home, my body broke against the ground. -- I think you should break up this stanza with a full stop somewhere. Having it be one sentence is a bit of a mouthful.

Overall, I feel like this one isn't sure what it wants to do or be. But, it certainly has potential.

Hope this helps some.

Cheers!

Lizzie