Revision 2: The Three Wives of Chuck Taine

[Lizzie]

Hi Todd. After reading Crundle's review, there's obviously a lot that I don't know here in terms of backstory. But, it's still beautiful to read. So, I can't comment much on the substance, but I have a couple of general comments.

I married her after she died -- great opening line
a widower on my honeymoon—
never something you easily bounce
back from. She told me and
she told me of the android,
and then how she had kissed -- kissed the sun is beautiful, and I'd almost like to see the line break on sun to keep that phrase together
the sun and opened like a blossoming flower-- -- need a full em dash here
till her petals blackened, burned away. 
She had walked together -- I don't understand who she walked with, since you say 'together'
then on a field of stars looking over 
her shoulder to where all things end, 
each footfall echoing 
more distant than the last. 

Now she lies on each side of me, -- like this
and I bury her again adjusting -- not loving the line break on adjusting -- in light of your opening lines, I think again is strong enough. Just my opinion, this really is minute
my shape to fill the well 
of our grief and joy. -- I think you should show grief/joy, because it falls flat for me here at the end. Maybe just add one more line or two with something concrete.

I wish I read more comics so I could help more, but thought I'd offer what I can.

Lizzie