03-10-2017, 08:25 AM
CRNDLSM, thank you for your comments, which are spot on. My intention was to portray the speaker as struggling between his natural instincts (a pantheistic view of God) and a desire to join the Christian community because it would alleviate his loneliness. Not only would the speaker have a ready-made community to join, he would have a ready companion in Jesus since Christians believe that you can have a personal relationship with Jesus (in spirit, at least). Pantheists like myself are rare enough that we do not have the support of a community, thus the talk of being lonely in the poem. I portray the speaker as wavering in the first stanza, but then re-confirming his pantheistic views in the second and third stanzas -- but then, in the final line, he remembers that he isn't even sure that God exists. This mirrors my own experience too -- I have strong faith in my vision of God, but I've had no revelatory experiences to confirm that faith, and there are times when I doubt my own views.
The third stanza is very anti-Christian (as I am), and therein is perhaps the major flaw of the poem. I take the speaker from wavering in the first stanza to being certain of his views in the third stanza. That constitutes quite a change in just three stanzas. The truth is that this poem is something of an anti-Christian diatribe. However, there have been times in my life when I momentarily felt myself drawn to the Christian view. The whole idea that God was embodied by an individual who once walked the earth and is still available to know is very seductive. In fact, in my opinion, that's the reason the religion has been so successful and has lasted so long. God personified -- that's powerful stuff.
I hope you appreciate that I'm striking a delicate balance in this poem between conveying some unusual concepts and keeping the poem emotional and lyrical. If I do too much explaining of the pantheistic concepts, then the lyricism is lost.
The third stanza is very anti-Christian (as I am), and therein is perhaps the major flaw of the poem. I take the speaker from wavering in the first stanza to being certain of his views in the third stanza. That constitutes quite a change in just three stanzas. The truth is that this poem is something of an anti-Christian diatribe. However, there have been times in my life when I momentarily felt myself drawn to the Christian view. The whole idea that God was embodied by an individual who once walked the earth and is still available to know is very seductive. In fact, in my opinion, that's the reason the religion has been so successful and has lasted so long. God personified -- that's powerful stuff.
I hope you appreciate that I'm striking a delicate balance in this poem between conveying some unusual concepts and keeping the poem emotional and lyrical. If I do too much explaining of the pantheistic concepts, then the lyricism is lost.