when walls fall edit #1

[operadiva]

*I have made edits after receiving some much appreciated advice. 

When Walls Fall
 
brick upon brick
a modest wall
grew inch by inch
just short of tall
 
storm after storm
did seek to breech
but drop after drop,
inside, never reached
 
day after day
onslaught persisted
drip, chip, drop, chip
but integrity remained
 
what remained was polished
crude brick to striking marble
what survived was proud
commonplace to modern marvel
 
One by one
they came to behold
one by one
they smiled and posed
 
hand after hand
callous and rough
touch after touch
met a wall too tough
 
until the unfeeling wall
was met by warm lips,
like the first sip of a hot tea
arousing a foundational shift
 
kiss after kiss
not harsh as storm
kiss after kiss
nor unwanted grope
 
kiss after kiss
wore wall to rock
kiss after kiss
wore rock to stone
 
kiss after kiss
now a grain of sand
no wall to kiss
no wall to stand

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Original

when walls fall

 
brick by brick
a modest wall
grew inch by inch
just short of tall
 
storm after storm
sought to breech
but drop after drop
never could reach
 
day after day
onslaught persisted
chip, chip, chip
weathered, but not eroded
 
what remained was polished
what survived was proud
crude brick to delicate marble
drive-by to modern marvel
 
One by one
they came to witness
one by one
they smiled and posed
 
hand after hand
callous and rough
touch after touch
but blemishes couldn’t shake
 
until a warm pair of lips
met the wall like the first sip
of a warm cup of tea
chilling its very foundation
 
kiss after kiss
not harsh like a storm
kiss after kiss
not an unwanted grope
 
kiss after kiss
wore the wall down to a rock
kiss after kiss
wore the rock down to a stone
 
kiss after kiss
left the stone a grain of sand
nothing left to kiss
nothing left to stand