The Humbler (Happy Ballet Times Daze)

[Lizzie]

I enjoyed this a great deal.

The Humbler (Happy Ballet Times Daze)

“What fools these Human’s be”
when in love, yes I see,
but, the larger truth,
what greater fools when not, -- reminds me a bit of "The Triple Fool" by John Donne.
spirits twisted and souls rot! -- maybe twist instead of twisted?
How pompous, vain,
and condescending,
only through Love’s sufferance,
might this wound be mending, -- maybe a stronger word than 'be'
yet hide, when see healing descending, -- not a fan of 'when see'.... I think it's the lack of a you or we after when. I like how you display the foolishness of running from love.
until by Valentine’s pox laid low,
with a shot from Eros’ bow!
Oh, oh, OH!
It is madness, is it not?
It’s been so long that I’d forgot,
I hope it fades away…
Yet, only does the grave,
fools,
from the foolish save! -- I'd join this with the previous 'fools' -- I think it reads better that way
Still...not all is sadness and sorrow,
for I shall be a grave fool on the morrow, -- I like the re-use of grave but in a different sense
if I might a line from Mercutio borrow,
till then, anon,
for I am gone and done,
my bugled sword in baldric hung!

erthona
 
 
©2011

Not just beautiful, but meaningful as well.

Cheers,

Lizzie